♥ Your dearest girl,
Yesterday 2+am, chris sent me to kk's A&E.
i can't take it, so went black out. when i was up,
i'm at the observation room already.
chest was painful, lungs was hard to breathe already.
coughing like crazy & super tired.
i saw the ecg tubes, blood pressure & heart timer beside me.
wah. i thinking this time gone already.
but luckily, went admitted and everythings okay.
i've been very noisy wanting to discharge, can't stand staying in the
hospital.
been having glucose tube all these things.
aww. suck.
i've been begging the doctors to let me off, i'll be okay.
and yes, after a long persuading. i was out around 5pm?
but i saw the bill gonna send to my house.
it's 1449. wth, can buy 4D already.
lol. ward number 86 & bed number 17.
can buy 4d also.
HAHAH.
okay lah. now i very xin ku, gonna rest liao.
see ya!
&the beauty.
&the beauty.
That was a sudden one.
i know, i can feel. & thanks for doing this to me.
why! what's wrong. i know it's my fault keeping you awaiting,
but do you've to do this to me? maybe i kept you waited too long,
that you've decided to do this already. well done then.
i lost of words already, i don't know what to do.
HAVE GOT nothing i can do!
whatever i did, i say. you got something to say.
can you also understand my feelings too?
ya. everybody's blaming me, blame me for all i did.
i'm the bad one in the picture!
if the times can change back.
i'll say yes.
&the beauty.
hey, i tried to talk to you. but you were to busy.
don't know leh, maybe if you like her then okay lah.
i mean if you wants to fall for her, i'm fine with it.
argh. why my mind corrupted one. -.-
&the beauty.
i don't know what to do.
really lost. what the hell you wants me to do?
since we're apart alr then so be it lah.
why keep bothering me with the same old thing that you always ask.
every start & every end you said it.
i keep myself a distance from you, whatever it is i also accept it.
but why the fuck you want to keep on making me suffer?
i had enough in whatever decision you did. in times to come, i did everything i can to avoid you. though i know it's hard. but why! i seriously don't understand. what you wants from me?
just tell me straight to the face. what you want! when then i can stop all those and move on? i don't want to keep pondering around your world. making me face the fact that actually hurting me. i don't know what else i can say. i'm already so fucking lonely, but you actually can make my life even worst. how then i can change my life?
i want to move on. i really wants to!
can someone please just wake me up!
i need my wake up call. since that day you chose to leave, from that moment i know everything's gone. i know i've to face the fact that you actually leave liao. i've to know that i'll be fucking lonely that i got to spend the times alone.
since the time you left, i know i've to face everything alone.
i don't care what it takes to leave the world of yours, i really hate to be missing you. to be thinking of you. i want to make new friends, i don't want to keep myself in your world of darkness. i want my life to be colourful. i wasted so much of my time on you. now that we're over, aren't i supposed to be happy?
but you're fucking making me suffer. why eh. why. why.
i need an answer, i want an answer in things you did. i don't understand why you've to do this to me. i don't know why you actually can do this to me.
tears been waking me up. tears been telling me to face the fact that he's gone.
i know no point crying over spilled milk. really. i know. i understand! but it just don't get through my actions. why the hell do i still care what you doing, how have you been? while working, i've been thinking why the hell happen to me.
i wants to find back myself. i want everything back to normal. i want to forget you. i don't want the dark side coming into me. i don't want to be like emo every where i go.
i'm happy at the start after break up i'm happy! i don't have to quarrel with you. i don't have to be like how i used to alr. but then after a few days. i really miss you so much. i really keep thinking bout you. i can't stop the pain. i can't! i admit i failed.
So sick
Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
'Cause right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
'Cause you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice
Anymore
(It's ridiculous)
It's been months for some reason I just
(Can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(Enough is enough)
No more walking 'round with my head down
I'm so over being blue
Crying over you
(Chorus)
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memories
And now every song reminds me
Of what used to be
(Chorus)
That's the reason
I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
O-o-h (Leave me alone)
Leave me alone (Stupid love song)
Don't make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Then lettin' go
Turning off the radio
(Chorus x3)
'Cause I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
She were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(So why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?
i'm so tired. so tired of everything!
i won't disturb your life. so don't disturb mine please.
&the beauty.
today is a saturday, yet i'm back in the office. :(
bored.
now trying to close a deal & i can slack alr!
yay.
LOL.
ending work in 30mins time ^^
see ya.
&the beauty.
now have to rmb every listing of the car.
jia lat.
now brain like want die liao :(
helpppppppppppppp!
&the beauty.
Many many things happened these few days,
i'm too busy to even post.
To Doris,
when i witnessed the accident.
i felt heartpain, i don't know.
especially when andrew & you on the floor.
when i felt so helplessly.
i don't know how i can help you.
i don't know what i can do also! i'm sorry.
i snooked. girl, seeing you like that really felt like helping.
takecare of yourself.
i'll help you bathe all these when i'm back okay?
takecare, love.
Cleavon, i'm not trying to be sensitive.
maybe we just communicate the wrong way i guess?
but you know i care. i didn't know why you sounded like you don't trust me,
but it really makes me no point if i goes another way.
so yeah, i don't want to everyday have conflicts with you.
maybe we should spend time more tgt then say bah.
now at work, so tired.
been in the office & i felt like slping.
hahah. using the lappy actually finding those details,
but ended up blogging as well.
lol.
tonight L4D, bbq, drink whatever.
too many to rmb! ahhhhhhh.
&the beauty.
been out out out. let time passed faster,
so i don't have to think so much.
hey boy, losing you isn't the end of world.
so get the fact right,
that i NO longer interested in you as i wasted too much time on you.
just get the hell out of me.
gonna work. work. work.
money!
gonna go out meet pinky.
then cleavon.
cya.
&the beauty.
&the beauty.
You eventually threw me,
now that we're finished, gone!
you came back to me again.
Baby, sometimes i just wonder,
what's all these craps refering?
PAPERS tmr!
&the beauty.
It just seems so empty.
when are you gonna fill it again?
&the beauty.
i wants to recover, hate that lump that grew in my throat ):
&the beauty.
